Dear Captain Oblivious
Anonymous: I've known a guy for just over 2 years. For the first year, we dated. It's been almost a year since we broke up and decided to remain just friends. However, I sometimes still feel the need to be with him and would hate to see him with another girl. I haven't really let go. More and more I've thought about distancing myself in an attempt to let go of emotional attachment. But I would greatly miss him. I often end up feeling confused, succumbing to my attraction and putting myself back at square one. I'm desperate to move on; I fear I will be hurt even more in the end.
Captain Oblivious: It's easier to go somewhere where some interesting might happen, which explains why people love to go to parties and such. It would be conducive to create alternate forms of excitement in your life. Staging social gatherings, taking up a hobby, etc. I would recommend that you also avoid being around with the Ex. By being around him, you can't help think about the old memories you had with him. Something we like to call memory associations. Vision is a big one. Besides, your old memories probably reminded him of the comfort zone you experienced. Now that the relationship is over, you are in a want of that comfort zone. Now when you see your former interest with someone else and you still have feelings for them, that kinda hurts. As time progresses, you will get back into the search for potential interests, and that hurt you once had will eventually wane. It might take some time though, depending on several factors. Nonetheless, it will dissipate. You will feel more pain in the end if you donÂ’t let go. Just remember don't stand still, keep on truckin'
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