The Rules of Engagement

As I enter in the period best known as the engagement, I have learned quite a few things. I shall notate them below.

The Rules of Engagment

1. Sometimes, women are more concerned with how their wedding dress looks than the details of marital life and beyond.
2. Excessive detail is often given to wedding particulars such as decorations, flowers, cake, etc.
3. All references to possessions are always noted as "ours"; their is no longer "Mine" or "my".
4. Family gatherings are mandatory; failure to comply as such, will result in severe punitive action.
5. Party invitations have an implicit clause that states that if your fiance is invited, then you are automatically invited and your presence is mandatory.
6. If mom or dad like you, they refer to you as "My Son".
7. If mom or dad do not like you, they refer to you as "That Boy".
8. Details about "the wedding cake" overrule more important details such as living arrangements, wedding budget, health, etc.
9. The first three months after the wedding are reserved for "quality" time; family and friends are prohibited from making preemptive visits.
10. One day must be reserved for creating a store registry for the sake of requested gifts.
11. Two more days must be reserved for creating a store registry for the sake the requested can-live-without gifts.
12. Must be prepared to relate in detail how you proposed to your fiance several times to family, friends, and older relatives who can't hear very well.
13. Possible merger of checking accounts may result in scrutiny in large and unnecessary purchases.
14. Permission must be requested when traveling at least 20-50 miles away from home area.
15. Cellular device communication must be maintained 24/7.

Capt. O.