At the End of the Tunnel: Light or Darkness?

"If we see light at the end of the tunnel it is the light of an oncoming train."
-Robert Lowell


Call me an anxiety wreck. Call me a pessimist. Call me a worst-case scenario specialist. Sometimes, I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's like the tunnel is this perpetual place for darkness, despair, and other negative words beginning with the letter "D". I can't say my life is this perpetual dark tunnel because it's not really all that bad. I mean I have so much to be thankful for. I have really good friends. People actually think that I'm smart and wise and they come to me for advice (i.e. parents, friends, etc). My ex even thinks that I'm such a great person. Why is that these people who are apart of my life see the light, while I can only see the darkness. It makes no sense.

I guess it does have it benefits though. It prevents me from falling into complacency; i'm always trying to find ways to better my horizons, to expand, to adapt, and learn new things. It also helps me to stay humble and modest; that way, I know that my limitations and I can project that to others. Furthermore, when disappointments abound, I'm not totally shocked, since it is realistic to assume that not everything will come out the way you planned.

In some ways, I'm a lot like Spiderman. Ok, so we can't go toe to toe. The guy would kick my butt. I mean in terms of role conflict and role strain. The average person can look at Spiderman and say: "Wow, I wish I had super powers like that so I can beat up guys, crawl up skyscrapers and web sling through a city. I bet he's a happy guy." In actuality, Spiderman (a.k.a. Peter Parker) has a very problematic life whose very workplace name "coincidentally" shares the same name of this Blog publication. Back to the point: His powers serve as a gift and a curse: he has the powers to serve and protect the weak, but they limit his ability to be a college student and be with the one he loves.

I might not have Spiderman's powers, but I almost understand his ongoing life problems. To me, he's the most realistic fictitious character in the comic book universe.(This is what you get when you overanalyze Spiderman 2 .)


Captain O.