Bill of Rights: Customer Service Representatives

We hold these truths to be self-evident that all customer service representatives are created equal and that they are all human. They are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights.

That to secure these rights, Companies and other public service organizations are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the people that buy products and pay for services. That whenever any Form of Business Enterprise or Public Service Institution becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Employee/Staff to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new Enterprise, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness and Economic Health (money) and Susceptibility to Termination. These certain unalienable rights include but are not limited to:


The Right not to be cursed out for a product or service rendered

The Right to "correct" the Customer when they have erred

The Right to hang up the telephone when the Customer makes a bogus request.

The Right not to be terminated when the Customer complains about customer service

The Right to hang up the telephone when the Customer has been deemed incompetent, crazy, bizarre, weird, unsmart, unsavvy, old-fashioned

The Right to carry on personal calls at the expense of the business enterprise

The Right to show anger and frustration when the Customer presents a question or problem is
deemed usually difficult or stupid

The Right to tell the customer that you are having a bad day and that you don't really care about them.

The Right to tell the customer that their question is stupid.

The Right to not answer the phone with a pre-written script that says, "Hi, my name is _______. How may I provide you with excellent customer service today? "

Captain O.