Assertiveness and Control

Assertiveness: the human characteristic or quality which determines the degree to which individuals are directive and competitive in manner as opposed to non-directive and co-operative;Talking calmly and firmly about your interests and what you want to happen in an effort to communicate effectively with others.


I guess you could label me as a person who is very assertive. I am a person who is not afraid to stand up for my beliefs amid criticism from others. That person could by my parents, my boss, my co-workers, my best friends, and others. That's the way I was socialized especially being brought up around a matriarch-based household. My mother is very assertive. You should see her how she makes salesman sweat. I guess I get much of that from her. She taught to me in so many ways, directly and indirectly, that you just have to be "real" with people. "Being real" means telling it how it really is. How does this play into assertiveness? Well, an assertive person will tell you whether or not he/she likes something. A person of the diametric opposite will not; he/she will be very, very subtle.


Why is this blog entry pertaining to assertiveness and such? Because it seems that those close around me think that I'm a control freak or that I put myself on this pedestal. That's not true. Some have even accused me of trying to fit or imitate certain people. I have one thing to say to those people.


I am Captain Oblivious. I am a leader. I am assertive. I stand up for what I believe in. (I realize now that these declarative and intentionally authoritative statements would carry much more weight and power, if I used my real name, Kevis Wadlington) I also realize that I voice my opinions when appropriate. I am not a passive person. As an assertive person, I have some control over what is around me or what pertains to me, so if I have been mistaken as a pompous, control addict, or a dictator, I do apologize. But I will not apologize for being assertive and/or a guteal region kisser.


I believe that a person should be assertive, but it should be in a control sense. I would really make people upset if I were to have an unbridle mouth of bluntness, rawness and nastiness. Then people would really hate me. But as such, my motto is that it's not what you say, it's how you say it. It's a motto I try to preach and teach to every person that has made my upset by telling them the mode of delivery and not the content. Barbara Powell made an interesting statement in her book Good Relationships are Good Medicine: "There are times when thoughts and feelings should be suppressed rather than expressed. Blurting out untactful or hurtful remarks is not assertiveness is about."


Be tactful.

Be tactful.

Be tactful or you just might invoke the temper of an aggressive/volatile person.

Also, in the words of Shakespeare in Hamlet: To Thine Ownself, Be True.

In other news, I have officially finished the Fall semester with a wimpy 3.5, preliminarly speaking. The main culprits of this underscoring of my GPA? Dr. Carney and Dr. Vaquez. I always thought they were a little a conceited and arrogant. Or maybe I'm just exbiting a little of a self-serving attitude.

On the next episode of The Daily Bugle, FoxFire(Lizzy) returns the Library to help me quell the insurrection of the snot-nose-little-brat army who is out from school for winter vacation.