Kids Are Evil

Kids are evil.

All of them! Including the ones, who look so cute and adorable. I guess I've developed this abhorrence since working for the public. I come into contact with children most of time after 3:00; they are immature,unrelenting, conniving, annoying, aggravating, undisciplined, and manipulative. Of course, you would expect a kid to be immature, but immaturity and lack of home training is a bad combination. Trust me when I say that kids are supposed to act a certain way in public. When I was kid, I reserved most of my hyperactivity and rambunctious for home and school, but never public places. Well, I can't say never because there were times, where I did not behave. I remember I use to hide in the clothing rack from my mother. Oh, that was fun(nostalgic feeling).... But that was nothing compared to the kids to today.

I dislike kids so much that I even had a nightmare about them. The dream is becoming more vague. But I remember fine details. I had this dream near the release of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. I was a Jedi knight and I donned a lightsaber. Well, these little minions, the kids, were after me with blow darts. These blow darts were deadly, mind you. I took out my lightsaber and slew a couple of them. Hey, it was in self-defense. I would never harm an innocent child. While using my lightsaber to defend myself, I used my force powers to erect a force field. However, as I used my lightsaber to "defend" myself from these kids, but they were not dying. They kept coming back. They were so unremitting. Eventually, my lightsaber was broken by one of them. So I relied on my Force powers to erect a force field, but somehow, my force field was losing its stability and integrity. Soon, these imp-like kids would overcome me and I would wake up in a cold sweat. Scary indeed.

I will remain vigilant in my affirmation to abstain from child procreation, child rearing and other duties that would be associated with having kids. Why have kids, when you donÂ’t like them? I know I would be miserable. I hope my future, unspecified and undefined "wife" will share a similar anti-procreation policy in our relationship for my sake and the sake of my health. (Hint, Hint)

Captain O.